Moms Are Crazy
If I had one word to describe moms, it wouldn’t be loving, caring or even devoting… It would be crazy.
Moms,
They love like crazy
Care like crazy
Worry like crazy
Even hear and see crazy.
They talk like crazy about crazy things when we are driving them crazy.
Moms
Drive us crazy
While worrying about us like crazy and
Acting all crazy, embarrassing us in front of our friends
But in spite and because of all this craziness:
We miss them like crazy
Need them like crazy
And most of all,
We just LOVE them…….. Like crazy.
G.O.S.P.E.L
It’s the full story of life crushed into four minutes
The entirety of humanity in the palm of your hand crushed into one sentence
Listen its intense right
G – GOD | O – OUR | S – SINS | P – PAYING | E — EVERYONE | L — LIFE
The greatest story ever told that’s hardly ever told…GOD
Yes, GOD
The maker and giver of life and by life I mean any and all matter and substance
Seen and unseen, what can and can’t be touched
Thoughts, Image, Emotions
Love, Atoms and Oceans
GOD
All of it is handiwork, one of which is master piece made so uniquely that angels looked curiously
The one thing in creation that was made with His imagery the concept so cold, it’s the reason I stay bold.
How God breathed in the man and he became a living soul
Formed with the intent of being infinitely, intimately, fond
Creator and creation held in eternal bond
And it was placed in perfect paradise ’til something went wrong
The species got deceived and started lusting for His job
An odd list of complaints as if the system ain’t working
and use that same breath He graciously gave us to curse Him
and that sin seed spread through our souls genome
and by nature, your nature, your species you participated in a mutiny
Our, yes our sins
It’s nature inherited, black in the human heart it was over before it started
Deceived from day one and led away by our own lust
There’s not a religion in this whole world that doesn’t agree there’s something wrong with us
The question is, What is it?
How do we fix it?
Are we eternally separated from a God that may or may not have existed
But that’s another subject
Let’s keep grindin’ besides tryin’ to prove God is like defending a lion, homey
It don’t need your help
Just unlock the cage
Let’s move on, on how our debt can be paid
Short and sweet…
The problem is sin
Yes, sin
It’s a cancer, an asthma choking out our life force, forcing separation
From a perfect and Holy God and the only way to get back is to get back to perfection, but silly us
Trying to pass the course of life without referring to a syllabus
This is us
Keep up the good deeds
Chant, pray, meditate
But all of that of course is like spraying cologne on a corpse
Or you can choose to ignore it as if something don’t stink
It’s like stepping in dog poop and refusing to wipe your shoe, but all that ends with
How good is good enough
Take your silly list of good deeds and line them up against perfection, good luck
That’s life past your pay grade
The cost of your soul, you ain’t got a big enough piggy bank
But you can give it a shot
But I suggest you throw away that list
Because even your good acts are an extension of your selfishness
But here’s where it gets interesting
I hope you’re closely listening, please don’t get it twisted
It’s what makes our faith unique
Here’s what God says that’s part A of the Gospel
You can’t fix yourself, quit tryin’ it’s impossible
Sin brings death
Give God His breath back, you owe Him
Eternally separated and the only way to fix it, is someone dying in your place and that someone’s got to be perfect or the payment ain’t permanent
So, if and when you find a perfect person, get him or her to willingly trade their perfection for your sin and death in.
Clearly since the only one that can meet God’s criteria is God, God sent himself as Jesus to pay the cost for us
His righteousness, His death functions as payment
Yes, payment
Wrote a check with His life but at His resurrection we all cheered because that means the check cleared
Pierced feet, pierced hands, blood stained son of man
Fullness, forgiveness, free passage into the promised land
That same breath that God breathed into us, God gave up to redeem us
And anyone and everyone, and by everyone I mean everyone who puts their faith and trust in Him and Him alone can stand in full confidence of God’s forgiveness
And here is what the promise is
That you are guaranteed full access to return to perfect unity
By simply believing in Christ and Christ alone
You are receiving life
Yes, LIFE
This is the gospel
G – GOD | O – OUR | S – SINS | P – PAYING | E — EVERYONE | L — LIFE
Fake Christians
People use the term, “Fake Christian” alot these days. Does that mean they have an image of what a Christian should be and the person does not live up to their image? You see, Christians do not have to be in the image of the world, because we are not of this world. Jesus told us that we are not to be. We are made in God’s image. No, Christians are not perfect… By any means. But we have mercy and grace on us at all times. We have forgiveness that God gives us. It has been freely given so we freely give.
If you have been offended by a Christian, I want to apologize for all of us. You see, we do not have a right to offend, judge or cast the first stone… We have a right to love you with agape love. With love that never ceases… Love that God showed to us when He looked down on our sins and then sent His only Son to die for them. Yeah, you can reject God. Yeah, you can argue… But who is it helping?
People also say that they do not go to church because of “Fake Christians.” So what? What do they have to do with YOUR spiritual walk with God? Do you have to pray to them? No. Don’t worry about them. The Father in heaven sees and knows all things. They will have to answer to Him one day. I promise, it will be much more terrifying then you calling them out. Think about this, are you hurting them by keeping something against them? Or are you hurting yourself?
Thinking about it,
Anthony
The Joy of Children
Before I Copy and Paste… Just know, I do not have children… But one day, I promise to laugh when any of the following happens.
This is from an email that I got:
Why We Love Children
1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, ‘Mom, that lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!’
2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, ‘The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.’
3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. ‘Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.’
4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, ‘What’s the matter, haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?’
5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, “Are you a cop?” “Yes,” I answered and continued writing the report. “My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?” “Yes, that’s right,” I told her. “Well, then,” she said as she extended her foot toward me, “would you please tie my shoe?”
6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. ‘Is that a dog you got back there?’ he asked.
‘It sure is,’ I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, ‘What’d he do?’
7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs… One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, ‘The tooth fairy will never believe this!’
DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, ‘Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit.’
‘And why not, darling?’
‘You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.’
9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister’s son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: ‘Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.’ (I want this line used at my funeral!)
10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. ‘I’m just wasting my time,’ she said to her mother. ‘I can’t read, I can’t write, and they won’t let me talk!’
11) BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it.. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
‘Mama, look what I found,’ the boy called out…
‘What have you got there, dear?’
With astonishment in the young boy’s voice, he answered, ‘I think it’s Adam’s underwear!’
We Talk Way More!
Think you can guess which Americans talk or text the most on their cellphones?
According to Nielsen, African-Americans use the most voice minutes – on average more than 1,300 a month. Hispanics are the next most talkative group, chatting an average of 826 minutes a month. Even Asians/Pacific Islanders, with 692 average monthly minutes, talk more than Whites, who use roughly 647 voice minutes a month.
African-Americans and Hispanics also text the most. Hispanics send and receive around 767 SMS messages a month while African-Americans send and receive around 780 – significantly more than Asians/Pacific Islanders (384 texts a month) and Whites (566 texts a month). The voice and text results are compiled from one year (April 2009-March 2010) of mobile usage data gathered by the The Nielsen Company, which analyzes the cellphone bills of more than 60,000 mobile subscribers each month in the United States.
Women Have Their Say
And if you think women in the U.S. talk more than men on their cellphones, Nielsen data confirms your suspicion. On average, women talk 22 % more than men (856.3 minutes a month compared to men’s 666.7). Turns out, American women are more communicative in general on mobile devices; they text more, too, sending or receiving an average of 601 SMS messages a month compared to the 447 monthly text messages sent or received by the average American male.
Teens Rule for Texting
Not surprisingly, teens text the most, sending or receiving an amazing 2,779 SMS messages a month. In the next two age brackets, text usage falls by more than half each time, with those aged 18-24 sending or receiving 1,299 messages and those aged 25-34 exchanging an average of 592 messages. While the text usage varies greatly between those 18-24 and those 25-34, their voice usage is quite close (981 voice minutes for 18-24 and 952 minutes a month for those 25-34 years old.)
The South Speaks Up
Location plays into usage patterns as well. Southerners are the most talkative, but while Florida ranks high in terms of monthly voice minutes used, it ranks very low for text messaging (the state has one of the highest median ages and older Americans text the least.) Mississippi, interestingly enough, ranks high for both talking and texting.
(information based on The Nielsen Company Research Study)
Personal Thoughts… From an E-Mail
1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your
computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was
younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure
I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the
rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t
want to have to restart my collection…again.
13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if
I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I
did not make any changes to.
14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this -
ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darn
it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to
voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run
away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call
18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
20. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand
than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. .
31. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
know what time it is.
32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys
in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey -
but I’d bet my you-know-what everyone can find and push the snooze button
from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every
time !